


how are you feeling this morning? my lover, my lover

by catastrophes



Series: together, we are [1]
Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Friends to Lovers, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-17
Updated: 2017-09-17
Packaged: 2018-12-30 16:29:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12112686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catastrophes/pseuds/catastrophes
Summary: Brunch with Minhyun is the most simple and wonderful thing, but at the same time, also filled with so many complex emotions for Seongwualternatively a fic in which seongwu spends the entire time waxing poetics about minhyun





	how are you feeling this morning? my lover, my lover

**Author's Note:**

> the title is from the lyrics of “brunch” by ga-in and hyungwoo (the fic is also inspired in the broadest sense by the song/mv)
> 
> edit: translation into vietnamese available [here](https://www.wattpad.com/story/126839590-trans-hwang-x-ong-how-are-you-feeling-this-morning) by farawayblue9058 !!

 

 

The brightness of the sun leaking through the window pierces through Seongwu’s shut eyelids rousing him from the deep fog enveloping his brain. He refuses to crack his eyes open however, not even to a slit, moaning to himself in reluctance at having to wake up at all on a Sunday. In all honesty, if he could sleep through the entire month, he’d do so.

However the shrilling phone in his ear is the offending item that prevents him from sneaking back to his warm slumber. Poking his arm out from beneath the messy covers, Seongwu fumbles around, clumsily knocking over god knows what including a thankfully empty cup onto the ground before finally managing to locate the loud, annoying object.

Seongwu swipes at the home screen wearily accepting the call, eyes still closed and body semi-curled up under the blankets. He groans out a long, “Hello?” that sounds on the cusp of a whine at how rude a person could be to wake someone else up before noon on a weekend. 

If it fell under the non-important category (for example Daniel calling just to comment about some irrelevant fact he discovered at four fucking am), shit was gonna go down.

“How are you feeling this morning?"

Damn, there his heart goes again. 

With one fell swoop, the smooth voice that Seongwu recognizes somehow immediately soothes his ruffled feathers and he feels his initial displeasure dissipating quickly. How could six words easily do that to him? Though, the tiny voice at the back of his head tells him it’s not the words in particular but the person whose mouth they’re coming from.

Seongwu pouts tiredly against the mouthpiece before answering, feeling mildly aggravated at his own self betrayal.

Hwang Minhyun, said owner of the voice, was Seongwu’s little problem. Actually scratch that, it wasn’t little, but in fact a Big Fat Problem™ instead. This one sided love he’d been secretly harboring for the other was definitely starting to get even more out of control recently.

It has been so long since Seongwu had accepted his feelings for Minhyun that he almost can’t remember not being in love with him.

Their relationship with each other initially began as something of involuntary interaction when they found themselves thrown together as partners for their intro to film paper in their first year of university. The pair of them had differing opinions on how to approach the project, and had clashed several times. Seongwu’s blunt way of speaking and Minhyun’s stubbornness about his own beliefs had meant neither wanting to give way to the other. During their initial meetings in class, they had either bickered about anything and everything, or at the very least politely attempted to appease each other through gritted teeth.

Somehow, everything just clicked into place, and their connection grew into something inseparable instead. Seongwu can even pinpoint the event that catapulted him to his doom. It had been on one Friday afternoon when Minhyun had already been slightly peeved off at Seongwu for being late to the meeting. But everything suddenly all changed with just one joke that Seongwu swore hadn’t even been his best, but it had broken stone cold Minhyun who laughed like he hadn’t laughed in a year. The particular look that Minhyun had given him in that moment had almost been reverent, and Seongwu immediately knew he was completely toast.

Admittedly it hadn’t been so bad to begin with, he had just merely been plagued with the sudden inconceivable need to constantly seek Minhyun’s approval, and Seongwu’s heart would perhaps beat a little faster everytime he was in the presence of his friend. He figured it was mere infatuation and would pass like all simple crushes would.

To Seongwu’s most unfortunate demise, fast forward two and a half years later, despite trying everything possible, he still had no fucking clue how to get over it. It really was a wonder he didn’t need a transplant the way his heart has continued to work overtime every moment he spent with him.

Falling in love with Minhyun had been the simplest thing to do. Figuring out how to stay afloat without drowning in his feelings was the storm instead.

“Seongwu? Are you there?” Minhyun’s concerned voice filters through the speaker interrupting his thoughts.

Seongwu clears his throat before continuing scratchily into the phone, “I’m pretty sure I once told you to never ring me before 11 am, and you’re ringing me way earlier than what we agreed on, so what do you think?” He attempts to inject some grumpiness into his voice, obviously failing when he clearly hears no bite in his tone.

God, he was too fucking weak when it came to Hwang Minhyun.

Why couldn’t he have at least fallen for someone who had more respect for his shitty sleep patterns?

“Don’t be such a baby." 

Seongwu just grunts out an unintelligible noise.

“I was just calling to make sure you remembered our plans. I wouldn’t have bothered to wake you up today, but we have that extra recording session after brunch,” Minhyun’s lilting tone infuses through the phone, and the honey laden way his tongue curls over the words sends a spark all the way down through to Seongwu’s toes.

Pull yourself together and get a grip Seongwu, he thinks. It’s been years and he should be immune by now. Seongwu blames the especially enhanced effect on his hangover today.

The moment is also most helpfully killed when Minhyun carries on, “You were on good form last night at Jihoon’s. Kuanlin had to sweet talk him not to kill you after you knocked over one of his very expensive bottles of wine whilst dancing.”

Seongwu winces, his eyebrows knitting together as he questions petulantly, “You mean the one that he had been keeping for their anniversary?” He couldn’t really remember the incident, but just imagining the situation was enough to make a man shudder. It doesn’t present itself often since Jihoon was usually a picture of cute sweetness but the younger boy was also notorious for his fiery temper when riled.

“Wait, why weren’t you there to stop me? I could have been maimed!”

He looks under the covers to check for missing limbs. All there, thank god.

“I only walked in on the aftermath since I was waylaid by Seonho.” Minhyun didn’t even need to elaborate on the statement and Seongwu understands immediately.

Semi-placated by the answer, he grumbles in response, “Mm, I suppose I’ll have to somehow make it up to Jihoon. Guess I’ll be eating instant noodles for the next few weeks.”

“I already gave him the money to cover it, so it’s me you now owe your soul to.”

“You are godsent, Hwang Minhyun.” Seongwu grins.

“Don’t try to weasel your way out of paying me back. You’re locked into having brunch with me for the foreseeable future. Your treat every time.”

“That’s a given.” Seongwu rolls over onto his back, stretching his long limbs out. The phone is still clasped to his ear carelessly. “Also, I’ll have you know that I am a very punctual person who never forgets plans that he makes, alright? Even if I’m half dead and hungover.”

He feels instead of hears the disbelieving laughter from Minhyun reverberate back in his ears. Seongwu can’t help but smile to himself as well knowing himself how much of a lie that statement is. There was no getting past his friend.

After they both have their fill of laughter at Seongwu’s expense, Minhyun launches into a further detailed conversation about the recording session they were scheduled to complete that afternoon, sentences laced with technical terms about singing with a crescendo here, or adding a reverb there. Seongwu half listens, trying (and failing) to ignore the coiling in his stomach which was growing tighter with every sentence from his friend.

He keeps trying to persuade himself the way his insides curl together is due to hunger pangs, and not because of his traitorous heart instead. Listening to Minhyun talk about something so passionately was kinda a turn on.

Jesus, it was especially bad today. Seongwu reminds himself to never drink again.

“Yeah it all sounds good. I agree with everything you said,” Seongwu says easily when Minhyun asks what he thinks. (He wasn’t just saying that.) “Anyway, looks like I’m definitely more than awake now.” He continues somewhat jokingly into the phone, “By the way, has anyone told you, you talk way too much for a guy that looks like yourself?” Seongwu had not been prepared for how chatty Minhyun was when he had first met him and over the years has been subjected to plenty a dialogue where it felt like it was one way traffic most of the time.

“Yes, you, all the time,” His friend replies darkly.

Seongwu laughs. “Mm, didn’t say I don’t like it. Okay, guess I’ll meet you at our usual in an hour?” He lazily flicks the end call button when Minhyun readily agrees.

He cringes at the thought of having to unfurl from his nest to go out into the cold, trying to delay the inevitable by scrolling through his multiple social networking sites for the latest updates. After he was satisfied there was nothing embarrassing catalogued on the internet from the previous night, he leaves the bed with thoughts of meeting Minhyun, and a contented feeling of warmth lingers in his chest.

Humming softly, Seongwu runs through his daily morning motions of brushing his teeth, easing himself into his favorite pair of jeans, and a thick sweater before mournfully giving up trying to ruffle his hair into place. He also dabs a couple of drops of cologne on the insides of his wrist, underneath the bracelet he wore every day.

Lacing up his boots, Seongwu stops to pull out his phone, staring at the numbers imprinted on the screen: 10:16 am. He sighs, knowing that Minhyun was definitely going to berate him for being late again.

He makes sure his jacket is zipped up tight before shutting his apartment door with a nudge of his foot, quickening his steps out into the winter morning to the nearest subway station.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

In all honesty, if someone had told Seongwu a few years ago that one of his favorite habitual activities would be to have brunch, he would have laughed right in their face, hard. Sure, eating good food remains one of his most unchanging hobbies and all, but there were far better things to do than to go for _brunch_. For example, sleep. Especially on a weekend.  

But of course as fate would have it, meeting up with Minhyun for brunch is now one of Seongwu’s favorite regular activities and he wouldn’t miss it for the world. Seongwu just loves to torture himself.

They’d wandered into a cafe one Monday after a morning of classes when trying to look for a place that would allow them to work on their project all afternoon without having to pay an exorbitant cost, and enjoying it so much, never left. They had both fallen in love with the bustling atmosphere of their now most regular haunt, serving all day breakfast choices of both Korean and American style.

Seongwu in return fell head over heels with the look that Minhyun had given him over the rim as he sipped his cup of hot americano, eyes almost as dark as the beverage itself. Slowly but surely over the following days as their friendship progressed, he had begun to also fall in love with every other facet of Minhyun, the mere infatuation growing into something much larger. 

It’s the mundane moments he likes best because those are the times he discovers a little something new.

In the very early stages of them getting to know each other, on one rainy day, when they were still half at each other's throats, Seongwu had noticed the faint grimace creeping into Minhyun’s normally placid features. He managed to extricate out of Minhyun that he had only pretended to like coffee to seem more mature when in reality would gladly be drinking a strawberry smoothie instead. Minhyun had pursed his lips and told Seongwu not to make fun of him. Seongwu had just laughed saying, “Don’t worry man, I still sleep with a seal plushie and I’m not embarrassed to say it. The term ‘maturity’ is merely a fake concept adults made up. Do what you want.”

He easily swapped his orange juice for Minhyun’s coffee that day.

Minhyun never felt the need to be anything but himself in Seongwu’s presence since and their relationship took one further step after that when Minhyun realized that although Seongwu likes to joke about a lot of things, he never maliciously makes fun of anyone.

Seongwu very much so enjoys the days where their close friends tag along to join them at the cafe to either study or to replenish calories after the previous night’s session of heavy drinking, however he likes having brunch with Minhyun, just the two of them, even more. He can’t help but feel immensely pleased whenever Minhyun directs all his attention on him, as though he is the only person in the room.

In particular, he fondly remembers the memory from the first time he had been the recipient to Minhyun’s caring self. A big group of them were having a celebratory post finals meal and Minhyun had slipped out for a short while to the nearby convenience store before returning to silently hand him a small can of Dawn 808 and a packet of painkillers, the perfect cure for Seongwu’s massive headache at the time.  

Who wouldn’t have fallen in love with the guy?

And although it means another round of nagging from his friend, Seongwu sometimes really likes the days when he’s running late to meet Minhyun for brunch. Snapback jammed over his unwashed hair, he would normally burst through the cafe entrance, slightly sweaty but happy to find that Minhyun has spent his time thinking about what would be most suitable for Seongwu that morning. However, Seongwu truly relishes the days that Minhyun meets him with a rare disheveled expression, a large contrast to his normally serene self, having had an unfamiliar sleep in. They are the mornings in which Seongwu arrives at the cafe first, heart squeezing inside at the way Minhyun threads his hand through the thick strands of hair, self-consciously patting it down with apologies spilling from his lips.

He likes the quick brunches they have, the days where they barely have enough time for a grapefruit juice before class, but he infinitely prefers days where brunch extends all afternoon. Claiming their usual table, they take refuge on a Thursday lunchtime when they both only have morning classes ending the day usually with a mess of notes, sore fingers from typing long essays and hoarse throats from talking too much.

Seongwu can never be sick of the way he is addicted to the how the heavy smells of bread baking and sizzling bacon cart through his lungs, lingering around for hours. But he is infinitely more addicted to the way he can always elicit a laugh from his friend, even when Seongwu isn’t trying to be funny, just like the initial moment their relationship turned.

Minhyun’s loud goofy chuckles that fill whichever room they were in, so different to his chic surface visuals, always make Seongwu feel so happy and appreciated.

Other than Minhyun’s laughter, he takes delight especially in the heart-shaped smile that Minhyun reserves for him (as Seongwu likes to believe), almost as sickeningly sweet as the maple syrup he drapes by the gallons over his pancakes. Seongwu spends the hours with Minhyun trying to memorize as many of the other boy’s smiles as possible.

As disgustingly cheesy as it sounds, Seongwu doesn’t care about the seven billion smiles in the world, Seongwu just knows that Minhyun’s smile is the only one he wants to keep safely in his left shirt pocket, right by his heart.

Over the following months, Seongwu also becomes very partial of the way the warm light hits Minhyun’s face _just_ right. It is the reason why he always insists on sitting by the big window front (very subtly he thinks, as he feeds Minhyun a bullshit story about ideal airflow and variety of passer-bys to people watch, but of course in reality the only person Seongwu notices is Minhyun). The way the sun rays dance over the bone structure of his friend’s face, highlighting the ivory skin, never fails to make Seongwu ache to smooth his thumb over a cheek.

The only time he’d come close was when he very casually swept an invisible eyelash off Minhyun’s face once, but since then he had forced himself to resist any further temptations. Hugs and casual friendly touching was fine, but Seongwu’s drew the line at anything more.

For his own sake. 

Brunch with Minhyun is the most simple and wonderful thing, but at the same time, also filled with so many complex emotions for Seongwu.

That is all because despite his stupid crush being years in the making, Minhyun seemingly continues to remain completely oblivious to Seongwu’s lovestruck ways, who to the latter’s credit tries his hardest to not show him extra affection than what he believes a normal friendship would entail.

In the early days of coming to terms with his feelings, Seongwu had contemplated confessing to him, but several obstacles kept cropping up to pose barriers. As he got to know Minhyun more, he’d realized that the other boy’s initial cold front had been half caused by the situation of putting his shields up. Minhyun divulged to him he had just broken up with his previous boyfriend Kim Jonghyun and even from his position as merely a new friend at that point, Seongwu could sense how heartbroken he was. Seeing Minhyun in that state, Seongwu not wanting to be selfish by heaping his own feelings onto the former while allowing him to heal, had resolved to try his hardest to suppress his emotions.

Slowly as the weeks turned into months, the temptation got a little bigger again. Seongwu began to get enticed into finally deciding to confess, especially on the encouragement of their closest mutual friends who had somehow figured things out.

(Seongwu thought he had been low key.) (Obviously not.)

Minki had cornered him one day under the guise of simply asking what his intentions were but Seongwu swore he had never felt so threatened in his life before. Somehow he came out of the meeting with reluctant blessings, and since then, kept being pestered by Minki to “fucking grow a pair”. Daniel and Jisung however were far more supportive.

Not that it all mattered however because on the determined day he had decided to lay it on the table, he accidentally witnessed Minhyun reject one of their mutual classmates (in the nicest way a rejection could ever be done, but still a rejection nonetheless) causing him to chicken out. A good move at the time because firsthand viewing the friendship between the two quickly dissolve into something of awkward distance in the ensuing days, Seongwu came to the conclusion that maybe he was destined to suffer in silence.

It seemed liking his best friend from afar was a better option than willingly risking losing his friendship with Minhyun.

So as their bond continued to strengthen over the years, the suffering also increased in correlation as he found himself getting deeper and deeper.

Recently however, Seongwu was starting to especially feel this whole tortured unrequited love business was getting harder day by day, and he was uncertain how long more he could keep it up. His insides were eating him up slowly.

Love really was a miserable bastard.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

“You’re late. I’ve already ordered for us.”

“Great, you know what I like.” Seongwu slides into the booth opposite Minhyun, tossing his phone and keys onto the table. “And late only by twelve minutes this time.” He flashes a bright smile at his friend in hopes of placating him. Unlikely but he tries anyway. “Would you believe the subway broke down?”

His friend narrows his gaze at him, probably taking in his extra large eye bags and rumpled hair, before just simply saying, “You really need to cut down the drinking, you’re getting older and slower. It’s not good for you or your liver.”

Seongwu smiles blandly at Minhyun’s words, his normal reaction to the constant nagging. Most of the time it flies in one ear, and out the other. He was well used to it by now. Though he would never admit it out loud, sometimes he even liked it, because it meant the other boy actually cared enough for him.

“I’m still in peak condition. You’re just jealous you’re a lightweight and can’t drink more than two sips of beer.”

Minhyun just shrugs in response, not disagreeing with Seongwu’s declaration. Minhyun would easily admit he plays the designated sober friend, helping the rest of their group get home safely, partly due to his complete inability to handle alcohol, and mostly due to his mothering nature. 

Before they could say anything further, the server comes by with their food order. Steaming dumpling soup for Minhyun, and a big plate of sausages, eggs sunny side up and crispy fried bacon for Seongwu.

“Sorry for being an asshole who is late all the time, but you know, I love that you’re always earlier than me because I don’t have to wait for my food,” Seongwu exclaims, sniffing happily at the mingling savory scent of their brunch. “Oh this smells like heaven. You definitely know me best.”

“It’s fine and you’ve always liked the greasiest food after a night out, but you’d be happy even if I ordered you the cheapest plate of kimbap,” Minhyun responds drily, holding out his own spoonful of stew towards Seongwu who moves to gladly accept with his mouth. “Careful, it’s hot.”

“Marry me,” Seongwu (half) jokes after swallowing the delicious broth, but quickly adds, “anyway, the whole excessive drinking thing was Daniel’s fault. He wanted to impress Soyeon—you know the one who majors in marketing—by having a dance battle. The five shots were my reward when I swept him clean off the floor with my win.”

“You make a terrible wingman.”

Seongwu pauses, his fork halting mid air.

“I’ll have you know, it was all part of my brilliant plan. Daniel got consoled by Soyeon who still cooed over his _amazing_ b-boy skills, and I left with my reputation intact, _and_ ended up with three new numbers on my phone this morning. Win, win, win.” Ending his sentence with a hand flourish, Seongwu returns his attention to his plate, narrowly missing the way Minhyun’s body stills at his words.

A noncommittal sounding hum comes from Minhyun. “Are you going to call any of them?”

Seongwu lifts his eyes off his food to make contact with Minhyun’s, but couldn’t quite decipher the expression. “Probably not since I don’t even remember who they were, but it’s nice to know I’ve still got it,” he laughs playfully. “Though perhaps you’re right, maybe I really should cut back on the hard liquor. The rest of the night is a blur.”

Minhyun fiddles with the napkin dispenser, pulling out one for each them before candidly saying, “You know I’m always right, but when do you ever listen to me?”

“You’re right on that count too,” Seongwu considers, amused. “Perhaps one day when we’re old and decrepit and my life is in shambles, I’ll finally realize that all your advice was for my benefit after all.”

“You’ll be dead before then if you keep drinking like this,” Minhyun answers back shortly, taking a sip of his tea.

Seongwu chuckles easily. “I guess you’re just going to have to keep nagging me then.”

They fall into easy silence, digging into the rest of their meal. The background noise in the cafe was loud as always, providing ample distraction with the number of people walking in and out. Seongwu notes that more heads turn towards their way, probably to catch a second peek at Minhyun’s visuals, who in his esteemed opinion looks especially good today.

He was used to the extra attention that his friend received on most days, and he acknowledges with little modesty that he, himself sometimes even drew a couple of extra glances, but Minhyun was definitely on another level. Just two weeks ago, someone had approached them as they had been walking down the main street of Garosugil and offered Minhyun their business card in hopes of enticing him to come down to their modelling agency.

“Why not?” Seongwu had asked when he saw Minhyun turn down the offer. His friend had just shrugged saying it wasn’t really his thing.

Seongwu had been secretly glad because admittedly a big part of him wants to keep Minhyun to himself. It was bad enough that the other male had amassed a fanclub of dedicated university juniors that fawned over his every move, having deemed him as one of the seniors on campus that possessed both good looks, and a good personality, especially in contrast to his cold outward physical appearance. Interestingly enough, Minhyun was his very kind self to all of them, but never showed any further attentiveness to any of them, not even the pretty ones.

Dismissing his thoughts, Seongwu gestures down at his plate of food, asking, “This is really good, want some?”

“No, it’s fine. I’m pretty full already,” Minhyun replies with a shake his head whilst pushing his own unfinished bowl towards Seongwu.

Seongwu inhales the last of his eggs, before tackling the last quarter of rice and stew that Minhyun left behind. He scrapes the bottom of the bowl to clear the very last drop. “As much as a clean freak you are, you never finish your food,” Seongwu sighs in contentment, “not that I’m complaining of course, it’s just an observation.”

“Done?" 

Seongwu nods, wiping his mouth with a napkin. 

Minhyun stands up to wind his scarf around his neck, after easing his arms into his dark brown wool coat, saying at the same time, “Well, as much as you like the heaviness of the Western style breakfast, you always still crave Korean food once you’re done.”

 He doesn’t bother to wait for Seongwu’s answer before he strides off to the counter, card already out in hand to pay, seemingly having forgotten Seongwu’s debt to him.

Seongwu’s chest feels tight when he process Minhyun’s last sentence. Honestly, shit like that was one of the several reasons why Seongwu just couldn’t get over his godforsaken unrequited love but he’s learnt over the years not to read into it too deeply because he is very certain Minhyun doesn’t even realize.

Caring about the small details just comes naturally to him. 

Ignoring himself, Seongwu quickly puts on his own jacket, chasing after the taller boy, clasping his friend’s forearm simpering sweetly, “Minhyun-ah, after all this time, you constantly surprise me every day. Who knew you loved me this much to take notice of all my habits?”

A pink blush decorates Minhyun’s cheeks prettily, though Seongwu can’t be fully sure whether it’s was because of his words or mainly just because of the cold wind blowing into the cafe.

“Only because I got sick of you complaining to me all the time,” Minhyun scoffs. However, the crisp statement is softened when he uses his thumb to swipe at the corner of Seongwu’s mouth. “Leftover tomato sauce—” Minhyun murmurs softly, before adding on in an almost rhetorical fashion, “—seriously how do you even survive without me?”

Seongwu blatantly ignores the way his lips feel like they are tingling and rubs his own thumb over the same spot as though to try and erase the feeling. Minhyun has this tendency to be super tactile liking to show his affection in a casual physical way, again another habit that goes completely past his oblivious head, not realizing the effect it has on others (especially him). For the sake of Seongwu’s heart which was inching closer to a meltdown with every new day, he wishes fiercely his friend would stop touching him all the damn time.

“It’s a good thing you’ll be with me forever then?” Seongwu replies glibly, in an attempt to squash down all of his ever present emotions that have been constantly too much for him to handle lately. 

There is a very small pause when their eyes fixate on each other, neither one moving, before Minhyun breaks contact, turning away to push open the cafe door. “Mm, only if you stop being so late all the time. One day, I’m going to get sick of it and leave you in the dust.”

“Ouch, you would never.” Seongwu mimics clutching his chest in a dramatic fashion. 

“Keep trying and we’ll see. Speaking of being late, we better go. Dongho will be waiting for us, and you know how impatient he gets.”

 The pair of them move to head out together, bracing themselves against the frigid air, as they slowly weaved their way through the throngs of people on the street towards the recording studio that they were due at.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

_When I close my eyes / I miss you again_

_Your lips might have honey / It is so sweet_

_Oh I love you so / I need you so_

_You are in my heart / Don’t go anywhere_

 

Seongwu finds himself draped across the horizontal length of the couch inside the recording studio, fighting his body’s physical need to curl inward in response to Minhyun’s sweet singing tone. Sue him if he wants to pretend the song’s lyrics were actually written directed to him.

Minhyun had been hassled into recording a song for the university’s annual festival coming up very shortly. The original duo who had been scheduled to sing had pulled out at the last minute, and Minhyun’s senior had pushed the responsibility onto him. And because Seongwu was too soft hearted and couldn’t say no where Minhyun had pleaded with him to save his life, it now led to the both of them spending their Sunday afternoon stuck here when Seongwu could very well be in his warm bed, dreaming of holidays on a beach.

Although, on the bright side, he muses, spending his time listening to Minhyun sing wasn’t the worst way to spend the day after all.

He thinks back to the mixtape he had managed to wheedle out of Minhyun for his birthday last year, full of his favorite songs. Ah, what a sucker he was. Seongwu had found out about Minhyun’s penchant for singing when they had all piled into a noraebang for the first time after a late night study session in an effort to destress. After several songs of hype yelling, Jisung had switched on Bolbbalgan4’s ‘Galaxy’ (track number one on the mixtape), shoving the microphone into Minhyun’s hands. Seongwu had never sat so still in his entire life, transfixed for the entirety of the song: Minhyun had been radiant and so in his element.

Seongwu surmises that one important moment had been another misstep into the descent of the slippery slope that was the crush that had been brewing.

“That was perfect,” Dongho’s deep voice echoes through the room, as he gives Minhyun who was standing inside the recording booth, a thumbs up via the clear window pane. Seongwu had already finished recording his part and was just waiting, watching the other two do their thing. Dongho was acting as their audio engineer as he was in charge of the direction of all the festival’s songs. “Let’s just do it one more time so I can layer the copies for more depth.”

At any other time, Minhyun’s voice would never fail to put Seongwu in a good mood (because he is a fucking sap), but today Seongwu was progressively getting more crabby by the minute. Normally it wasn’t in his nature to get jealous at all, but for some reason spending time with both Dongho and Minhyun together lately raises his hackles. Seongwu thinks it’s because Dongho has the upper hand of infinitely more years of friendship since he has known Minhyun from prior to university and he was the only one other than Seongwu himself who gave as good a banter with Minhyun.

The trouble was, Seongwu couldn’t even hate the guy because as much as he looked intimidating and scary, he was just a teddy bear in disguise and was probably the nicest person on the planet. Fuck Dongho, and his amazing talent at creating music too. Someone like him was most definitely Minhyun’s type and probably suited him better than Seongwu ever would, and he didn’t like the thought of it, one bit. 

Groaning, he reminds himself he seriously sounds like the craziest, most possessive boyfriend which doesn’t even make sense because firstly, Minhyun obviously isn’t his boyfriend, and secondly, his feelings have definitely been bordering on obsession lately, and no one would want to date someone like that.

Seongwu hears Minhyun laugh when Dongho cracks a joke, and he can feel the clenching in his jaw muscles. He mutters under his breath for god to save him, but as always his prayers continue to go unanswered.  

Minhyun comes out of the booth, face shining like the brightest fucking star, satisfied to have completed his part. “Let’s hear the full song.” He bounds over to the couch, nudging at Seongwu to make space so he could sit down. Seongwu automatically just lifts his head, allowing it to nestle back down into Minhyun’s lap when the other gets comfortable.

Whatever Dongho does to the song at the mixing control board makes both their voices sound incredible, if Seongwu can say so himself, but he barely concentrates when all he can feel is Minhyun casually toying with the hair on his head. The other boy trades comments with Dongho about various parts of the song, not even aware of how wretched Seongwu is feeling with the close proximity. 

Seongwu huffs under his breath, feeling both pleasure and despair.

  
  
  


 

* * *

 

 

 

 

“So, what do you think?”

“I think you need to stop fucking asking me this a billion times,” Jaehwan complains with vigor, though his words have no hint of spite, “You really should get over yourself and just find a nice girl, boy, or an alien if that’s your inclination, to take your mind of it. Now can you let me get back to finishing this assignment before my professor fails me?”

They pair of them were at the library finishing off some last minute work and Seongwu was pestering his friend about the pros and cons of giving in. Jaehwan was firmly in the category of not telling Minhyun his feelings because simply he didn’t want to be caught in the middle if Minhyun didn’t feel the same way and things went awkward. Fair enough, but it wasn’t particularly what Seongwu wanted to hear. Giving up wasn’t really in his vocabulary. 

Seongwu stares glumly into the distance, at the numerous couples dotting the large hall. However rather than make him jealous, it just makes him feel empty inside instead.   

“I have tried dating!” Seongwu moans, slamming his forehead onto his open textbook, “No one measures up.”

“Well, it’s true that no one is as ideal if you have Minhyun as your standard, but the most ideal of ideals doesn’t even matter, if he doesn’t like you back.”

Seongwu’s head springs up to throw a pen at Jaehwan’s face. “You don’t know that!”

“Jesus, I’m just trying to help.” Jaehwan fends off Seongwu’s attack before whispering a profuse apology when the other students around them give them the evil eye for being so loud.

Seongwu slinks back down in his chair in shame.

“Tell Minhyun then if you’re that desperate,” Jaehwan mutters towards him, fingers still flying fast over his keyboard. “Just don’t come crying to me when he shuts you down and you don’t have anyone to have brunch with anymore because I’m not doing it.”

Fuck. That wasn’t the answer he wanted to hear either.

“No one wants to have brunch with you anyway,” Seongwu begins but before he can say anything further, Jaehwan hands still, whistling lightly.

“Hey, speaking of the devil, guess who just walked in.”

Seongwu’s brain immediately shuts down. He doesn’t even turn around to confirm who Jaehwan is talking about before he quickly shoves all his books and papers into his messenger bag, jumping up to say, “That’s my cue to go, thanks for the non-advice.”

He hears the beginnings of the conversation (“Where’s Seongwu tearing off to?” “Uh, he said he was late to class.” “But it’s Saturday—”) as he furiously power walks for the side exit.

Seongwu bursts out of the cool library into the even colder afternoon, breath heaving slightly. Great he forgot his jacket. Never mind, he wasn’t about to go back inside, he hopes Jaehwan will notice it before he leaves.

Maybe some time away from Minhyun was the best option.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

God obviously doesn't love him however because he doesn’t even get a full two hours alone without Minhyun when he hears his apartment door click open. Only one other person knew his key code. 

Seongwu scrambles up from his position on the floor where he was lying, thinking about his life choices, “What’re you doing here?” It almost comes out a garbled mess in his haste.

Minhyun holds up the offending jacket Seongwu had left behind, “You forgot this.” He tosses it onto the couch, before plopping himself down next to it, lifting his feet up from the floor to curl under his body, like he had done plenty of times before. “Why did you rush off so fast? Jaehwan said you had class?’  

“Oh? I guess Jaehwan must have misheard me. I said I had to go… to catch the bus…” Seongwu doesn’t even know why he’s making up random excuses. “My mom wanted me to buy something and I only just got back. I didn’t realize you were there…" 

“Hm right,” Minhyun says slowly, eyes searching his friend’s, “Are you okay Seongwu-ah? You’ve been acting a little strange lately.” 

“Strange? Me?” Seongwu laughs nervously, his voice comes out strangled, “What makes you think that?” Why does he feel so uncomfortable in his own home?

“I don’t know… Are you getting sick?" 

“Not that I know of…?”

“Come here and sit,” Minhyun orders firmly, and Seongwu body obeys immediately, automatically walking himself across the room to the couch. Minhyun holds out a hand to his forehead, biting his lip saying almost to himself, “Hmm, no you don’t feel hot, but you look really flushed.” 

Seongwu doesn’t feel sick but he definitely feels lightheaded.

He plucks Minhyun’s hand off his face, and pretty much all but throws it back at his friend. “I’m fine,” he replies tersely, “I don’t get sick.”

Minhyun laughs, “What do you mean? Remember when Daehwi gave you that cold last winter? You kept complaining you could almost see the light at the end of the tunnel.”

Seongwu grimaces, the memory returning to him. Minhyun, the saint as always, had spent countless nights dropping in during his near death experience to make sure he had enough to eat, and fussed over Seongwu dressing warmly enough, even if his apartment had felt like a furnace at the time. “Ah, right. Well I feel as fit as a horse right now." 

“Good, I’m glad.” Minhyun punctuates his sentence with a gentle smile. “You’re not doing anything tonight right? Do you have any new movies?”

I’m busy, his mind wants to shout, trying to remind himself about the plan of not spending time with Minhyun, but his betraying mouth just says, “Yeah, I’ve got the latest Spiderman, do you wanna watch that?” He knows about Minhyun’s love for the Marvel Universe who wouldn’t resist the offer. 

“Yes please.” Minhyun pats the cushion beside him and Seongwu immediately regrets not having a bigger apartment that could include a longer couch as to put more space between them.

He sighs aggrievedly at himself and after bringing his laptop out, he settles in for a long night.

Someone please just end him, he thinks, it’ll probably just be easier than whatever this was becoming.  

  
  
  


 

* * *

 

 

 

 

Several weeks later, Seongwu is pretty much at his wits end and finds himself currently hovering in that almost transient state between sleep and being awake when he hears the creaking of his bedroom door opening. He can feel his eyelids fluttering, though they struggle to open.

“Seongwu?” 

Seongwu turns his face towards sound of the voice. Again, it’s another day in which he wakes up feeling like death incarnate. He really isn’t a morning person and the three bottles of soju and countless other drinks the night before isn’t helping to do him any favors. He’d been priding himself on doing a lot better with his drinking lately but yesterday must have been a bit of a lapse, judging by the classic headache that was building around his temples signifying a terrible day ahead if he didn’t get any painkillers on board soon.

He opens his eyes blearily to see Minhyun standing by his bedroom doorway, holding a plate in one hand, and water glass in the other. His friend is already dressed in his normal every day attire of a striped collared shirt. Even at too-early-o’clock, though his hair is somewhat rumpled but of course bare faced Minhyun is still as handsome as ever.

However, Seongwu’s eyes widen, blinking rapidly in surprise when his line of sight trails down past the hem of the shirt to reveal the current state of Minhyun’s legs. His brain is a little slower on the uptake, finally absorbing the fact that his best friend is currently standing in front of him, pants-less.

In briefs. 

Semi naked. 

_What the fuck._

“How are you feeling this morning?”

How the hell does Minhyun expect him to answer that question when he’s standing there in front of him like he's just walked off some kind of fucking steamy romance novel looking like a domestic god that was just thoroughly ravished the night before?

“Actually I think I’m dead.”

As always, Minhyun doesn’t even seem to think anything is amiss, even though Seongwu’s internal suffering was hitting an all time high, merely calmly saying, “I figured you aren’t in any state to leave the house,” Point one to his friend. “So I made you brunch.” Point twenty. “Don’t expect too much, it’s just hash browns and toast because your fridge is a really sad example of a typical university student. Remind me to ask my mom to pack more side dishes so I can give you some.” Point five hundred.

Seongwu’s head falls back onto his pillow, completely and utterly bewildered.

Well, really, the pantsless situation wasn’t the most befuddling part of this morning, because it’s not like Seongwu hadn’t see Minhyun strip off his clothes before but Minhyun talking about cooking him food, in his underwear, in his bedroom, rather than nagging at him about how late he was sleeping and that he should have a shower to wash off the stench of alcohol was just a very unfamiliar event to him.

The palms of his hands move quickly to press against his shut eyelids.

For the life of him, Seongwoo really can’t remember much of what happened yesterday, only that they had attended their mutual friend Sungwoon’s birthday party. Flashes of broken memories flicker past, some of which are pretty fuzzy and he is completely unsure whether they are just dreams.

Or a nightmare, probably.

Seongwoo takes a quick peek under the covers at his own body. Mostly relieved and maybe just very slightly disappointed that although shirtless, he still had on his own jeans from last night, he looks up questioningly into Minhyun’s face who had walked up towards him, placing the plate of food carefully on the bedside table.

“Have this first.” Minhyun pushes the tylenol pill packet into Seongwu’s palm and hands him the glass of water.

Satisfied when he sees Seongwu complying by gulping the pill down, Minhyun continues, “Did you really think I would take advantage of your inebriated ass last night?” A well groomed eyebrow arches pointedly in Seongwu’s direction. “You could barely even get into bed yourself, let alone take anyone else with you.”

Seongwoo’s confusion quickly gets overridden by his natural instinct to say something cheeky. His canines flash as his lips curve into a fast grin. “Well you are in your underwear, anything could have happened. I’m sure you wouldn’t be able to resist my very charming self had I’d thrown myself at you.”

Please say he didn’t.

Seongwoo ignores himself and barrels on, “So, what _did_ go down last night?”

“Firstly, it would be highly against my own moral stance to accept any moves from a completely intoxicated person. Secondly, I’m without pants because my jeans are hanging out to dry after your clumsy ass spilled your drink all over me last night,” Minhyun begins slowly, like talking to a five year child. “I was going to borrow something, but honestly it was slim pickings to find something clean." 

Oh thank God, I didn’t throw up on him at least, Seongwu thinks, inwardly patting himself on the back. And plus one finally, for being lazy. When else would he be witness to Minhyun’s milky thighs again soon?

He has to actively stop himself before his thoughts take a dangerous turn.

“Thirdly, and most importantly, you shushed everyone in the room, including the birthday boy who was just about to make a speech, and sang a very, very, very loud wailing rendition of Super Junior’s ‘It’s You’.” Minhyun’s lips curl upwards into something that vaguely resembles a smile, but Seongwu can’t be quite sure whether it was maybe just an involuntary twitch instead. 

Alarm bells clang incessantly in Seongwu’s head, intensifying his headache. Obviously the painkillers hadn’t kicked in yet. He rubs at his temples before replying, “Uh, you know it’s one of my favorites! I really like that song in general?” 

“I don’t think anyone doubts you like the song, but you did also chant my name after every ‘It’s You’, so I’m pretty sure everyone who didn’t before, now knows of your feelings for me too.”

_Oh shit._

Mortification is not a normally a word in Seongwu’s dictionary, but then again when has anything followed the normal plan when it came to his relationship with Minhyun?

Seongwu cringes hard, hands fisting the bedspread in embarrassment. No matter how much he’d drunk in the past, this had never happened before. He had kept his dirty little secret neatly tucked away and now with one night, everything was ruined?

More partial chunks of yesterday’s memories come flooding back to him. Having been encouraged by Jisung more than enough times over the past few days, he’d decided yesterday was The Day, and he’d only drink just a bit of soju in the hopes of loosening his tongue a little to finally at least try broach the topic of his feelings for Minhyun, to Minhyun.

It seems possibly, Seongwu might have overindulged and confessed in a truly stupendous way. And possibly, just fucked it all up.

“Well. What did you think?” He croaks out, unsure whether Minhyun would have received it positively since Minhyun was not particularly big on elaborate displays at all.

Or whether Minhyun reciprocates his feelings or not in the first place.

Minhyun just purses his lips before softly saying, “Don’t worry about it, I know you were drunk and didn’t mean anything of it.” For some reason the other boy can't look him in the eye. 

Seongwu clears his throat. His brain screams at him, this is it. This is the moment.

“Minhyun,” he begins his sentence slowly, trying to be careful with his words, “What if I told you I have been in love with you for years?” His voice comes out strained and tight.

The silence is deafening.

The both of them just sit still for what feels like eternity.

Seongwu can almost hear his heart beating wildly again, this time so hard like it wants to thump out of his chest, which truthfully would have most likely solved all his problems had it been possible to just rip it right out years ago.

As the air thickens with unsaid words, Seongwu’s insides begin to sink, and he wants the bed to collapse inward on itself and bury him six feet under. He tries to console himself, thinking the fact that Minhyun is still here, cooking him brunch must be a positive sign that their friendship was still salvageable at least. 

_Right?_

“Say something,” Seongwu pleads, his voice sounds almost as miserable as he was starting to feel. “Anything.”

Minhyun’s gaze remains unreadable as always.  

In an attempt to fill the void, Seongwu can’t stop the waterfall of words that pour out of his mouth, “Okay, well, I take it you don’t feel the same way so let’s please be friends again? Just put me out of my misery so we can go to the stage where we forget this entire thing ever happened, and I’ll just go back to my one sided unrequited love and try to get over you. I promise I won’t make it awkward at all— like seriously did you even have an idea how much I liked you over the last few years? I’ll bet you didn’t, I am the ultimate master of concealing my true feelings—”

“Seriously, shut up.”

A hard press of cool lips against his own interrupts Seongwu’s frantic babbling.

“And you say I talk too much?” Minhyun whispers, before lazily easing the kiss into something more, a slick mess of tongues. Seongwu just moans in response against Minhyun’s lips in replacement of a ‘holy shit is this actually real life'. There is a slight sense of urgency as his hands creep to grasp at Minhyun’s shirt, pulling the other boy’s body even closer to him, half dragging him onto the bed against him.

This must most definitely be a dream.

In the years since Seongwu came to terms with his feelings, every fantasy he’d dare let himself think about of their possible first kiss, did not feature Minhyun actually accepting a sleep deprived, hungover and morning breath laden version of himself. Reality was a strange motherfucker, Seongwu contemplates, half amused, half still confused. 

“Stop thinking so loudly.” Minhyun’s voice cuts through his whirring brain when he gently nips Seongwu’s bottom lip. The slight zing of pain electrifies his nerves.

“I can’t help it, I don’t really understand,” Seongwu protests feebly, though he makes a noise of discontentment when the other boy pulls away, breaking the kiss. “I mean, I’m not complaining but hold up a second— you like me?”

Seongwu anxiously fiddles with Minhyun’s collar, eyes dipping skittishly to the bed sheets. Though he inwardly worries a lot, he doesn’t normally show his anxiousness easily, however Minhyun’s deep stares always make him feel like all his emotions are on display to the world.

“Of course I like you as a person, Seongwu. Do you think I would spend all this time with you if I didn’t?”

“I mean—  do you like— like me in an actual romantic sense?” Seongwu prods weakly. He has a desperate wild need to hear it directly from Minhyun’s mouth. 

Minhyun just looks at him in a way as though he’s the biggest dumbass he’s seen. “Do you think I’d be kissing you if I only liked you as a friend?”

“Oh right.” Seongwu ducks his head down again, chuckling ruefully in embarrassment.

“But just so you’re satisfied, Seongwu, I like you,” Minhyun states firmly, cupping Seongwu’s jaw in both hands, lifting it in order to bring their eyes into direct contact again. “Only you.”

Since the beginning of time like he's always wished, Seongwu’s heart finally shuts down and the blood rushes to his ears.

“And why wouldn’t I? You are the funniest, the most hard working and the most intelligent person I know. Although in this moment, it seems you aren’t being very smart at all.”

Seongwu ignores the last part and just quips lightly, “But wait, I think you forgot the most handsome,” unable to resist dashing the sweet moment in a classic Seongwu way.

He receives a quick pinch on his bare shoulder for that.

Okay, not a dream then.

Good.

But before it can really hurt, Minhyun is already swooping down to place a gentle kiss on the spot, before continuing his ministrations upwards to Seongwu’s collarbone, to his neck. 

“Where did you learn all—” Seongwu’s statement gets interrupted with his own groan when Minhyun sucks delicately on an extremely sensitive part of the underside of his jaw, “—of this?”

“It seems you just bring it out of me naturally,” Minhyun answers back lightly, but his nervousness is betrayed by the slight trembling of his fingers as he thumbs Seongwu’s cheek. “But truthfully, I honestly have no idea what I’m meant to do here.” The sentence is punctuated with a slightly worried tone. “I— Do you expect to— Right now?” Minhyun’s sentence comes out broken as he just gestures wildly between both their bodies, a furious blush coloring his cheeks.

_Ah._

Apart from the general happiness of this unimaginable situation, Seongwu is _ecstatic_ that he’s managed to garner such a reaction from the normally cool and collected Hwang Minhyun.

However Seongwu doesn’t think a flippant comment would go down well at this point so he just goes for the truth instead. “Don’t worry, we can just take it slowly. I’ve waited this long, and I can continue waiting.” Seongwu’s words are as sincere as his feelings. “You, Hwang Minhyun are the best medicine after a hangover. Despite still feeling like a truck ran over me, I have to declare this as my favorite moment in all of my twenty three years of living.”

The pink blush flushes a darker red. Minhyun gently sits back down on the edge of the bed, picking at a loose thread, before saying, “I’m sorry for taking this long to notice. I mean, I did sense something more at times, but the moment would pass and I couldn’t be sure whether I was just imagining things. I didn’t want to assume.”  

Seongwu groans inwardly, they were both a bunch of slow idiots.

“Wait, so you mean, if I had picked up the courage and confessed to you directly, we could have been together a lot sooner?” Seongwu questions, slightly affronted at the thought of the both of them tip-toeing around each other over the last little while.

“Well… I only did realize and give in to my feelings for you a few months ago, so who knows how I’d have reacted prior to that. 

“ _Give in_?” Seongwu leans back against the pillow to look at Minhyun, before replying indignantly, “You mean you even attempted to resist your love for me? I’ll have you know, according to a vast amount of sources, I’m a great catch.”

Minhyun doesn’t bother to answer with words, but just gives him that heartbreaking smile, the one that crinkles his eyes into half moons and softens his cold features, and Seongwu immediately wants to eject off this earth. It’s no wonder everyone who comes into contact with Minhyun falls in love, Seongwu very much included.

“I’m sorry I kept you waiting.”

But it seems Seongwu now has Minhyun all to himself, and what a beautiful feeling it is. 

Seongwu murmurs contentedly, “It's okay, now is better than nothing.”

Minhyun smiles again, moving to peck his forehead, a bit more conservatively than before, then deposits a kiss to the tip of his nose, before matching his lips up with Seongwu’s.

Literally the best day of his life. 

Seongwu says languidly, “C’mere, as much as I’m going to treasure this morning to my heart forever, I _am_ getting old and I’m ridiculously tired.” His hand reaches out to grab a fistful of Minhyun’s shirt again. “Let’s go back to sleep. We can play more later,” he winks conspiratorially, eyebrows wiggling, before pulling Minhyun down to join him in his blanket cocoon, their legs tangling together under the covers. 

Needless to say, the food that Minhyun had left on Seongwu’s bedside table was left to grow cold, the first time Seongwu had chosen to do something else that wasn’t brunch with Minhyun.

They have a lot of lost time to make up for, but that can all wait for a few more hours.  

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

How are you feeling this morning? _my lover_ _my lover_

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> i spent a little while stewing on this so i'm a bit worried but at the same time very happy to be able to contribute to the totally alive (ahem) onghwang pairing and have this be my first ever published fic. sorry if there were any grammatical mistakes and i hope you enjoyed it!


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